Is Lisa Vanderpump Ruling the Roost?

Is Lisa Vanderpump ruling the roost on the new season of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

This is probably one of my favorite casts of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and while this season has been a bit boring so far, I’m not missing the hot mess that is Kim Richards or her equally host mess side-kick, Brandi.

erika jayneLet’s talk first about the new addition, Erika Girardi, aka Erika Jayne.  There are lots of reasons to hate her; but, alas I find myself irresistibly drawn to her and am growing fonder of her with each episode. First, she looks like Malibu Barbie. She’s married to an uber wealthy attorney 33 years her senior.  She’s the trophy wife living the jet-set lifestyle complete with private plane.  She has an alter ego, Erika Jayne who makes dance videos that the other women seem to find scandalous. I watched a bunch of them and find them totally benign. She seems to have some talent and basically just shows her ass a lot.  Of course if I had an ass like that I’d run around with no pants on at all.  She doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her, but she has incredible candor and honesty that’s so refreshing. While she has every reason to be a snob, Erika Girardi appears totally grounded. Her compassion for Yolanda exceeds all the other women by leaps and bounds.

david and yolandaI miss Yolanda being part of the regular cast and was shocked to hear that she and David Foster were divorcing. However, since she was wife number four for the Grammy winning musician, it’s not that much of a surprise. My guess is he’s no angel in the marriage department.  Yolanda appears to be really suffering and Lisa Rinna’s suggestion of Munchhausen’s Syndrome was appalling. Yolanda’s surgery showing all the free-floating silicone in her body was truly disturbing and I hope it’s the answer to all her suffering.  Yolanda Foster seems to be an incredible woman and I have nothing but well-wishes for a speedy recovery.

lisa vanderpumpLisa Vanderpump gets paid $500,000 per episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!  That’s a staggering number.  I thought she was terribly rude in the questions she asked Eileen Davidson regarding the start of Eileen’s relationship with husband Vinny.  However, Eileen should have stopped the discussion in its tracks. I imagine Lisa Vanderpump is very intimidating and this is why Eileen let the conversation continue despite her obvious discomfort.  Lisa Vanderpump appears to have a perfect life. Yes she works hard and has her hands full with her bat shit crazy Sur employees.  (I’ll have to do a blog post on Vanderpump Rules although at this point I can barely stand to watch it.)  Lisa Vanderpump can best be summed up with one word: excess. Who hires a private plane to transport a miniature horse?  I did love when Kyle said that can’t possibly be her biggest problem!  There must be something that keeps Lisa up at night and maybe it’s the British in her that just keeps a lid on things and she doesn’t talk about it. Everyone seems a little bit afraid of Lisa, yet I predict Erika Girardi will confront her at some point. Lisa Vanderpump has too much money, way too much. I’ve never seen a Louis Vuitton purse with pink trim anywhere except on the arm of Lisa Vanderpump. Custom made? $$$$$$

This is a person that takes one of her swans to the vet – in her car no less.  Everything she does seems to be over the top, done well, but over the top.  The luncheon she threw for Ken’s 70th birthday came complete with a new hat for each guest. Who does that?

Then there’s Kyle Richards. This woman bores me to tears.  I honestly don’t see what she contributes to the show.  There was the conflict with her sister Kim, but that’s been eliminated and it seems no one in Kyle Richards’ family is speaking with her, although Kyle has not gone into any details.  The whole thing with Nicky Hilton’s wedding was brushed over without explanation. This was probably the most interesting thing about Kyle all season. The best thing about Kyle is her hair and her incredibly good looking husband.

The current cast of the RHOBH gets along really well, maybe too well for the season to be interesting.  While I’m not a fan of the f-bombing mess Brandi, she did at least add some spice and there was always some argument or something crazy going on caused by her.

I will continue to watch this season in the hope that something interesting happens; but, so far it’s been a snooze fest.



The RHOA Reunion Part 1 – Real Housewives of Atlanta

Last night was only the first part of Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion; but it’s absurdity merited it’s own post. I’m sure there will be more to follow.

The RHOA of Atlanta were all attired in white looking very prim and proper except for Kenya who was wearing a Beyoncé rip-off (really?) and Portia whose dress looked like it needed it’s own couch.  That one shoulder striped number appeared to have a train akin to a wedding dress and was distracting as was Kenya’s lace peek a boo outfit.

If these women are friends, who needs enemies? Are they frenemies?  The RHOA are all about throwing shade.  Hey, at least I learned a new term.  They  even get physically violent with one another and at least Andy Cohen was wise enough this time to put Kenya and Portia as far away as possible and Kenya didn’t bring any props with which to taunt her co-stars.

Let’s start with the hair, shall we? How many wigs do these ladies own?  (Despite the fact they teased Kim into oblivion about her wigs.)  Kenya claims to have 24 inches of her own hair. I assume the word “own” means she bought and paid for it.

Every day each of these women is sporting a new hairdo, different colors, styles, lengths and no offense, but unless you really are Beyoncé, blonde just doesn’t look good on black people.  I simply don’t understand the constant wigs and the one Cynthia was wearing last night was dreadful. The 70s and Diana Ross called and want her hair back.

In the last episode of the season Phaedra and Kenya finally reconciled in a teary eyed discussion, yet the two were going at it tooth and nail last night.

Phaedra, the self-proclaimed “southern belle” is pretty good at being nasty while looking incredibly elegant.  She says she has five degrees and she is a lawyer – a lawyer who married a convicted felon and then watched him go back to prison after scamming people out of more than two million dollars. Where was Phaedra during all this?  She’s obviously bright but how do you not know something of this magnitude is going on? Maybe she should get her nose out of the text books and into her own life.  She has two children with her criminal husband and refuses to take them to visit their father, claiming that it is “too difficult” and that the prison has too many “constraints.”  Kandi was rolling her eyes the whole time so it appears she has some knowledge about all this.  Who am I to say if you should bring your one year old to see their father in jail?  I just can’t figure out how she thought marrying this guy was a good idea in the first place.

Nene Leakes must be hanging out with Heather Paige Kent Dubrow because Nene has turned into one condescending bitch.  Her attitude was obnoxious and just decided to proclaim “I am wrong, you are right” as a blanket statement rather than discuss anything.  I guess her two week stint on Broadway makes her better than the rest.  Sorry, two weeks means you have a really good agent; two years means you’re a really good actress.  Move over Judy Dent – Nene Leakes is here.

Portia, best known for claiming to have “learned about her divorce on Twitter” is just an idiot. I can’t figure out how she’s driving a Rolls, has an 8,000 square foot home, and has a job. What exactly does she do and who pays her to do it and, more importantly, WHY?  I think my dog would be more capable of doing anything Portia could do.  Heck, my dog even knows how to empty the hamper.  The ladies (especially Claudia) say that Portia’s riches come from some married man she was sleeping with.  The mistress theory seems like the only logical one because no one else could be that stupid and I’m quite sure Kordell had a solid pre-nup.

I like Kandi but she really didn’t have much to say although she tried to sort things out between herself and her “friends” who didn’t appear to want any part of her. Kandi seems to be the one who actually works.  She’s a Grammy winning entrepreneur with one project after another. Todd seems like a decent guy, no matter what Mamma Joyce has to say about him.  And Kandi, thank you for getting rid of the glow in the dark red hair.

Cynthia doesn’t really do much except sit around and look pretty. I’m not sure she said a single word.

Then there’s Claudia – I have no words.  As far as I can tell she’s brought nothing to the show and I don’t imagine Bravo would bring her back.

I’m looking forward to next week when the husbands appear.  This could get really ugly.  🙂




The Real Housewives of Atlanta -RHOA

I starting watching the RHOA a couple of years ago and I have to say I’ve liked past seasons better than this one.  The best thing about this show is I’ve learned a new language.  I know how to throw shade, spill tea, and give a read.  Although I’ve since been told that these words actually originated in the gay community not the black community.  Wherever it started, I like the words and use them at work just to confuse people.

I used to love Nene Leaks.  Now I can’t stand her.  She used to be so fun and seemingly real and then she turned into a prima donna.  Nene must have the best agent on the planet because she’s getting TV roles (albeit the shows have been cancelled) and a stint on Broadway. I saw her reading her lines and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Lassie and Flipper were better actors.  Her agent must have a magic wand.  She’s really turned against her friends this year and while it was her idea to set up group therapy – she walked out on the session saying she felt “attacked.”  She really is full of herself and makes sure everyone knows it.  Trust me Nene, it’s obvious.  By the way, unless you’re Beyoncé, blonde doesn’t look good on African Americans.

Another one who thinks she’s better than everyone is Kenya Moore. I honestly don’t know what to make of this beauty queen turned self-proclaimed media mogul.  She claims to have been an actress, a producer, a model, and a host of other things. I’ve never heard of her till the RHOA but maybe it’s because I travel in the wrong circles? She really does think she’s all that and her “fabulous twirling” antics were only amusing when Nene hoisted her up and carried her away from a fight last season. The rest of it is kind of obnoxious. She’s another one that seems to have a ton of money without having any visible means of income, other than her salary from Bravo.

Porsha was the comic relief of the group as her blatant stupidity around every turn was rather amusing although somewhat sad.  Her ex-husband was a complete control freak and she was a puppet yet she relentlessly defended him.  She then claimed she found out she was getting divorced via Twitter.  I’m sure Kordell had a pre-nup (he can’t be as stupid as she) but yet Porsha moved into an 8000 square foot house by herself in Nene’s neighborhood.  She’s running around in designer clothes and I believe she’s driving around in a Bentley and she had a boob job.  Since last season Portia has gotten a JOB!  I can’t imagine this girl could even sort mail and yet she’s got some media gig. I can only conclude she has Nene’s agent or is sleeping with the person that hired her.  Throughout the season there have been rumors (of course denied by Porsha) that she is sleeping with some married African guy who is lavishing her with gifts.

Phaedra Parks is obviously a bright woman with more careers than it seems anyone could have in a lifetime, let alone before they turn 50.  One of those occupations is attorney leading one to question: why on Earth she’d marry a convicted felon, have two children with him, only to watch him go back to jail while she’s changing the locks on their house?

I really like Kandi.  She is so talented, smart, funny, and a true entrepreneur.  She’s won Grammys, started an adult toy line, has clothing stores, and more.  Kandi is always doing something that’s making her money and she’s generous with her money, especially with her mother.  Her mother, Joyce, is really difficult but Kandi gifted her a house. Instead of being appreciative, Joyce has continued to criticize Kandi, her husband, be rude, and complain constantly  I can relate and my mother’s name is also Joyce.  Maybe it’s the name. How many Joyces have you encountered in your life?

This season they added Claudia.  Who? I vaguely remember her from The Apprentice.  I haven’t found that she adds anything at all to the show.  Apparently she and Porsha work in the same building and have some issues. I guess the issues were supposed to bring more drama to the show but honestly I don’t think anyone cares. I know I didn’t.

There’s another woman who is on sometimes – some singer who took all the other housewives on a trip. I have no idea who she is.  I don’t think anyone else knows either and I don’t think anyone cares. As far as I can tell neither she nor Claudia add anything to the show.

Last night I watch part one of the reunion.  That deserves it’s very own post!



The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I’ve already established that I’m addicted to Bravo TV and especially the Real Housewives Shows especially Beverly Hills and OC.  I’ve touched on this in a former post but after Kim Richards was arrested and charged with (among other things) being drunk and kicking a police officer, how could I keep silent?

Kim Richards is one hot mess.  I feel for her as she is going through a lot and sobriety is a serious issue; however, all season she has been acting crazy, defensive, and angry regarding her sobriety leading me to think the lady doth protest too much.  When Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson expressed their concern, coming from a place of love, Kim became as vicious as a great white shark. Kim (like her sister Kyle) was a child star and we’ve seen what happens to most of those kids so it’s no surprise that Kim would have some “issues.”  Her behavior this season makes Charlie Sheen look sane.  Maybe the intervention she needs is anger management.  Oh I know! How about a guest appearance with Charlie Sheen on Anger Management?

Of course being a hot mess, Kim hooked up with the hotter mess Brandi Glanville who is rarely seen without a glass of wine. Hmmm let’s think about this. If your number one goal is sobriety why make an angry drunk your best friend?

Brandi’s biggest claim to fame was her husband’s running off with Leann Rimes.  She can’t utter a sentence without the word “fuck,” usually used as a verb. Now I admit to using that word a LOT but usually as an adjective or noun.  Bat shit crazy, just this season alone she has thrown wine in Eileen Davidson’s face, and slapped Lisa Vanderpump across the face.  Sounds like someone I’d want as a best friend.  Check please.

Then there’s Kim’s sister Kyle. Kyle has gorgeous hair undoubtedly bought and paid for by her even more gorgeous husband and best asset, Mauricio. Kyle was also a child actress and has had a few bit parts lately but Meryl Streep she is not.  Mauricio has an insanely successful real estate business that has resulted in huge houses, private plane, ridiculously expensive cars, and apparently the best hair extensions money can buy.  Kyle has publicly expressed concern over not wanting her children to be spoiled yet one learned to drive in a Porsche and drove home from the DMV in a brand new Maserati. I learned to drive in a Pacer owned by my father’s secretary because I wasn’t getting anywhere near the Lincoln in the garage.  I think even the youngest daughter has Louis Vuitton.  The closest thing I’ve ever come to Louis Vuitton was when my sister asked me to hold her purse.

When it comes to conflict of any kind Kyle likes to hide behind a blanket or run out of the room completely.

It was good to see Lisa Rinna on RHOBH.  I’ve really never been a fan of hers. I never disliked her, but was rather ambivalent.  When I think of Lisa Rinna I think of lips.  As it turns out she seems like a very sweet, good natured loving person with an adorable hairdo that’s always perfect.  The only thing about her is I’d like to tie her down and force feed her lard.

I haven’t watched soap operas since the 80s so I had no idea who Eileen Davidson was and I am still clueless about her husband even though I’m supposed to know who he is.  Eileen, like Lisa, seems like a really nice, caring, well grounded person.  She’s an Emmy award winning actress who works on two different soaps and appears to take care of her own children without a nanny or a multitude of servants. Yet, Kim called her a “beast.”

Lisa Vanderpump is by far the wealthiest housewife but this woman actually works and works hard.  Of course having the fanciest restaurants in LA doesn’t hurt and have you noticed they are always featured in other Bravo TV shows? Every Bravo reality star has dined at Sur, Villa Blanca, or Pump.  Lisa has a magnificent house complete with swans, a closet the size of Home Depot, stylists on demand, and an army of servants to attend to her every whim and constant cups of tea.  She is always starting new ventures and I don’t know how she finds the time or why she has the inclination to hang out with the likes of Kim, Kyle, or Brandi.  There are rumors she’s fed up and not going to return next season even though Bravo is bending over backwards to try to get her.

Then there’s my favorite housewife, Yolanda Foster.  This woman is the Dutch mother Theresa.  She always tries to see the good in everyone and make peace among the bickering brood.  Yolanda even put in the time and effort to try to turn Brandi into a respectable human being.  She and her husband raise millions of dollars for charity and while their home is enormous and her closet looks like Neiman Marcus, she seems grounded, centered, and surprisingly normal for someone with that kind of money.  Yolanda grew up poor on a farm in Holland and despite her wealth it’s obvious she’s never forgotten from where she came.  She grows her own vegetables and cooks dinner for her husband when I’m sure she has “people” that could do it for her.  I have the utmost respect and admiration for her.  There’s absolutely nothing anyone could possibly say about Yolanda that would be bad.  A successful model, both her daughters are having their own thriving modeling careers.

I’ve always thought living in Beverly Hills would be so fabulous but if this is a cross section of the population, I’ll pick another zip code.