Southern Charm Not so Charming

Southern Charm is not so charming. In fact, I’m not even sure why I am still watching this group of useless southerners.  There was a time when I was dying to live in Charleston, South Carolina. It seemed totally charming and amazing.  I’m pretty sure I’ve changed my mind, although I still want the black bean cakes from Magnolias.

The only one on Southern Charm worth a damn is Cameran. She’s beautiful, charming, has her shit together, actually works and I can’t figure out why she hangs cameronout with the rest of them.  You notice her husband doesn’t.  (Smart guy) She married a doctor and I think it’s completely adorable that the saucepan she got as a wedding gift more than a year ago was still in the box when she went to throw her first dinner party.  I remember when she started in real estate and was working out of her mother’s house. Now her career seems to be thriving enough to hire an assistant; however, I’m not sure she’s making the best decision on who that should be. However, I do have to admire her for wanting to help a friend.  That being said I think she needs some new friends or should start hanging out with her husband’s friends.

When it comes to Thomas Ravenel I don’t even know where to begin.  This guy is a dirt bag, pure slime; he should be a politician. Oh wait! He was and went to jail!  The only thing remotely appealing about T Rav is his wallet and that’s not enough for me; but, it seems to be enough for a lot of women to sleep with him.  What this guy is doing sleeping with a 20 year old, let alone having two kids with her is beyond reproach and borders on child abuse.  Now that he’s got TWO kids with Kathryn he doesn’t even step up to the plate to support them.  This is disgusting.  He exhibits absolutely no intention of helping support these kids, yet complains about not seeing them enough.  He actually seems proud of the fact that Kathryn isn’t “getting any of his money.” It doesn’t even phaze him that his baby momma has to live with her parents.  T Rav is phlegm in a nice suit.  Where is the Southern Charm in this guy? Forget Southern, what is there to like about this ass hat? He’s got enough money for a house, plantation, string of polo ponies, etc. but doesn’t spend any money on his kids? He was boasting about it!  Hey dude, ever hear of condoms?t rav and katheryn

Kathryn has her haters, but I actually feel sorry for her. What 20 year old wouldn’t be seduced by a guy with lots of money, proclaiming his love, and promising to take care of her forever?  Obviously someone with daddy issues, but I won’t go there.  Kathryn is smarter than people give her credit for and the fact that the rest of the group has shunned her is a blessing; she just doesn’t realize it yet.

As for Shep and Whitney, I’m not sure what these two do or why they merit being on TV.  Whitney appears to live off his crazy mother (we’ll get to her later) and have no life of his own.  What does he do exactly?  Shep? Well, I’m just confused as to his existence on the planet.

patriciaPatricia, ah yes, Patricia.  I suppose she’s supposed to be the epitome of the old fashioned southern belle who married (and divorced well) but quite honestly I find her revolting.  She’s so full of herself wearing her bed jackets and being served by her butler.  Then she takes the butler with her to someone else’s house?  The way she and the butler interact with one another is creepy. It’s like modern day slavery, although I’m pretty sure he’s got nice accommodations and a decent salary.  This caftan-clad, condescending, judgmental Patricia seems perfectly content holed up in her mansion being waited on hand and foot, throwing elaborate dinner parties and mingling with the other socialites.  She’s another one who seems totally useless. If she’s so upper crust, why on Earth would she have Thomas Ravenel at her house? Why would she even be seen with that convicted felon, low life, scumbag.  If Patricia epitomizes Southern Charm, I think I’ll stay in NJ.craig

Then there’s Craig.  He might be the next Cameran – or not.  After being a total disaster last year and going home to Delaware, he seems to actually be getting his shit together, getting a job, and rumor has it will actually take the bar exam?  The only thing that’s a little odd is the long distance relationship with the French chick.  After an 8 month long distance relationship, he moved in with her and proceeded to buy her a promise ring? Is this high school? A promise ring?  WTF?  The only thing stranger than this is that Cameran (the voice of reason) thought it was a great idea. Cameran, were you drunk?

The only other person on Southern Charm I have a fondness for is Landon. I feel for Landon.  She seems like a sweet kid and divorce is tough. I give her a lot of credit for rebuilding her life, on camera no less, and maybe she can be the next Cameran.  She does seem to actually have Southern Charm and she’s humble.

When it comes to Bravo programming I get the appeal and drama of most of it; however, when it comes to Southern Charm this show is a bust.