Bravo TV

Guilty pleasure: Bravo TV.  I’ve become addicted to Bravo’s reality shows.  This has made me realize that I am addicted to chaos and drama.  That might be why I’m also a fan of Survivor because it’s so Machiavellian in scope.

Of course my favorite shows are the Real Housewives because in reality these shows should be called the Unreal Housewives of Wherever.  I find these people utterly obnoxious, fascinating, and often bat shit crazy.

I don’t watch all of them, just Beverly Hills, OC, NY, and NJ.  We’ll get to Southern Charm later.

If I had to spend the day with any of the housewives it would be Yolanda Foster. She is the only one that appears real, grounded, and normal even though she’s worth a zillion dollars.  Kandi from Atlanta would probably be my second choice.  Watching the housewives in Atlanta I’ve learned a whole new language. I now know how to throw shade, spill tea, and read someone.

All these housewives have more money than God and love to show it off.  Lisa Vanderpump’s closet could house a small country.  Granted, she seems to work quite hard for her money.  They all love to show off their private jets. Despite all their money these housewives do nothing but complain, bicker, and go at each other like pit bulls fighting over a steak. That is except Yolanda who is doing yoga and her master cleanse.   With considerably less than half their money I’d be off riding my horses and traveling, not fighting with “friends” which leads me to the question of why are they  friends in the first place?

Heather Paige Kent Dubrow is one of the most condescending people I’ve ever witnessed. She’s a B list actress at best who resurrected her career through the RHOOC.  I have, however, learned some great new vocabulary words from her.  The most obnoxious thing is that she has a family of 6 and her 50,000 square foot house wasn’t big enough so they sold it for $16,000,000 and are building a 70,000 square foot home.  I’m not sure of the exact dimensions but I’m pretty sure it’s the equivalent of living in a Home Depot.  Keep in mind Mark Cuban is a billionaire with a family of 5 and lives in a 24,000 square foot house.

Brandi from Beverly Hills has parlayed her 15 minutes of drunken f-bombing fame into several book deals and a podcast and various others have managed to create businesses they never would have been able to just from their exposure on these shows.  Not to mention Bravo pays a hefty fee to these women.  Some, like Lisa Vanderpump get insane amounts per episode. I think I read somewhere she gets 500K per episode.

Oddly enough watching these crazy millionaires makes me feel a whole lot better about my modest life.  The biggest fights I have are trying to get my husband to stop smoking in the powder room.

Southern Charm – who thought these bunch of slackers with accents deserve any attention?  It’s like watching a train wreck that you can’t look away from.  You have a 50 something convicted felon who knocked up a 21 year old who then decided it would be a good idea to run for the US Senate.  Why not just set your money on fire?  Of course the 21 year old is kept hidden far away on the plantation.  The rest of them seem completely mindless, content to just live off their trust funds. Better yet, be a 40 year old guy and stay at home with mom who eats breakfast in bed while wearing a fur-trimmed bed jacket.  I will say Cameron is cute and at least is attempting a career even though she married a Dr.  There’s also a guy who went to law school, won’t study for the bar exam, doesn’t show up to work till his boss calls him and does some modeling cause he thinks it’s fun to be pretty and have his picture taken.

I’ve tried to stop watching this stuff, I really have; but, since Two and a Half Men went off the air and I’ve memorized all the episodes there’s really nothing to watch until the next season of Project Runway.

Note to self: keep working on clearing addiction to chaos. Must call Adrien Blackwell ASAP.

Erica@ericaontheedge.com

One thought on “Bravo TV”

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