The Shahs of Sunset

It’s all fun and games  for the Shahs of Sunset.  These guys are always partying and eating incredible amounts of food that look obscenely delicious  Their lives seem to be set on permanent Spring Break; but, unlike the RHOBH, I don’t see any rich husbands.

I watch the Shahs of Sunset because I find it utterly fascinating and it makes me want to learn to speak Farsi.

This is one hard partying group with seemingly bottomless bank accounts yet only three of them appear to have jobs.

Asa, the self-proclaimed Persian Pop Priestess is my favorite although I have a soft spot for Reza the self-proclaimed Gay Gandhi.  Asa appears to be fabulously wealthy and unemployed. She says they are refugees who left Iran with nothing.  Her house is enormous and I believe she also has a guest house. Last I saw Asa she was waving a pendulum over various Mercedes convertibles trying to decide which one to get.  When she sat down with the sales person he said $1199/mo. and $3000 down.  She said she was fine with the $1199 but if it was $2000 down she’d do it and off she drove.  Who on the planet pays $1199/mo. for ANY car?  What’s in that hookah of hers?

She’s got her Diamond Water. Has anyone actually seen it in a store? I don’t think so. Andy Cohen recently asked her and she said it was sold out. Asa seems to do some really nutty things like charging water with diamonds and the ritual to pick out the perfect diamond was quite a production. Yet, all this seems to suit her and make her all the more charming.  She is elegant, beautiful, comfortable in her own skin, and always the peace maker. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her fight with anyone.  She even remained calm while Jessica railed her. Personally, I would have stabbed Jessica in the eye with a fork.

I don’t get Jessica.  She’s gone to hell and back just to get Mike to propose and if I’m going to be totally honest, Mike seems like a total ass.  He’s rude, has dissed his friends, and took advantage of Reza’s generosity when they teamed up to work together. Reza did all the work while Mike sat around and complained a lot. He appears completely useless and not particularly likeable.  To that degree, he and Jessica do make the perfect couple.

GG is the Shah’s version of Brandi from RHOBH.  She’s usually drunk and fights with everyone.  At least Brandi sort of has a job – sort of.  GG seems to do nothing except drink, fight with everyone, and rattle around in her giant pig sty of a condo.  She also recently had a boob job and a booty job where they injected the fat from her flanks into her ass.  Maybe she secretly wants a job on the RHOA who are all bootylicious.

GG accused mike of trying to nail her in Turkey and even went so far as to take a lie detector test to prove it.  The test showed she was without a doubt telling the truth. Mike is sticking to his denial.  I don’t see him stepping up to the plate to take a lie detector test of his own. Good for you GG! Maybe you are finally turning your life around.  Does this mean you’ll be getting a job?

I like MJ.  She’s not afraid to show off her curves but those bodacious boobies deserve a show of their own. I recently saw her on Andy Cohen wearing a dress with a plunging cleavage and obviously no bra. She said she was being held up with duct tape. I, myself, am a large breasted woman and it’s not comfortable.  She’s got to be utterly miserable lugging those things around.  I like that she has finally found love in a guy who seems to genuinely adore everything about her and is even ten years her junior. You go girl!  Hey, it worked for Demi Moore and Susan Sarandon, for a while.

MJ also seems to have a job although we rarely get to see her in her office. Her mother is one tough cookie and reminds me a lot of my mother.  That’s real emotional abuse. Perhaps MJ and Kandi from the RHOA could get together and commiserate, because Mamma Joyce ain’t no picnic!

But MJ went off the deep end when she put her dead dog in her own freezer.  I loved my first dog like nothing else in my life. Five years later I still grieve for him; however I would not have put him in my freezer nor had him stuffed. (I do wish I had clipped a piece of his fur but he died when I was out of town.)  MJ is planning on getting her dog stuffed.  Did she watch too many episodes of Dance Moms?

I love Reza and Adam. Reza seems to be the most successful Sha and building a real estate empire. You have to love someone that has $3000 in cash in his pocket to buy caviar from a vending machine.  I don’t even think Charlie Sheen carries around $3000, well then again, he probably does – hooker/cocaine money.  Reza is so sweet and caring, always trying to fix things when this group of friends turn on one another. Frenemies again?  It seems every Bravo show cast is comprised of frenemies.  I also love his fiancé and yes, I did notice the engagement ring came in a Cartier box.  That Reza has a lot of class and GG could learn a few things from him if she weren’t so pig headed all the time.

The newest Shaette, Asifa and her ex-husband/boyfriend whatever his name is, are a mystery to me.  These two seem like absolute jerks.  Her significant other just showed off his new Bentley to Mike and in the driveway were at least half a dozen other six figure cars.  Who needs that many cars?  What is this guy trying to prove? Is he compensating for …. well, you know what I’m getting at.  I’d love to know what he does for a living because I’m definitely in the wrong business.

Asifa is a spoiled brat who has taken self esteem to a delusional level.   The boyfriend/ex-husband demanded (you demand?) that Asifa give his dog a bath.  She was so mean to that poor little dog I was horrified. She complains about everything and if I had to live with that jerk, I probably would too.  It’s no wonder that Mike and whatever his name remained friends, after Mike ostracized himself from the group. Birds of a feather…

I will keep watching these perky Persians, because I’m addicted and I still want to learn to speak Farsi.

There’s that addiction to chaos again.

Note to self: Call Adrien Blackwell ASAP